Late Night Contemplations

Last night, I finished reading a book called "The Creative Family", by Amanda Soule. The book was loaned to me by a new mom-friend of mine who was so inspired that she wanted to share. I, too, am now inspired. All sorts of great ideas in that book, and I'm told that she even has a blog that she posts to daily...bet I could find it in a few clicks and share it here with you, whoever my dear reader happens to be at the moment.
http://www.soulemama.com/
Yup. Easy as that. I do love the internet for that. So quick and easy and at my fingertips.

So. This inspiration. All sorts of ideas, but not just ideas, ways of thinking about life and creating your life so that it's a way of living, not just sitting down to look at a book with craft ideas in it. Man, that was wordy. Trying to say that this book inspired me b/c I read so many sentences, so many paragraphs in which my heart connected to exactly what she was saying! She offers up ideas for living, for incorporating "creation" into our lives. My mom said that I could write the book myself, that I'm crafty enough and do "enough" stuff like that with Kaya. I guess that's just it. In a way, I feel like I'm on that path, and I therefore was able to connect SO clearly and easily with what Amanda is saying...about valuing and respecting the earth, the relationships we have in our lives, and incorporating those values and that appreciation into our lives through craft and creation. When I read things like what she writes, it gives me hope and confidence that I will be able to help create the type of family that dream of being a part of. One in which we can move slowly enough to appreciate the little things. Where we can take the time to make messes with flour and smile when the cookies burn. Where we won't be constantly rushing from this activity to that one, missing opportunities to enjoy our company instead.

It's like Becky said: Relationship comes first.

It's like I said to myself while on a jog with Kaya and the dogs this morning: Your perception of me is more important than whether you come immediately when I call.

Now that I'm done reading The Creative Family, (though certainly not done using it as a resource), I'm on to my next inspirational read, which already has me eager and excited within 20 pages: "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to raise Self-reliant Children" by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D. My neighbor recommended this book to me, as it helped her look at parenting in a new way, and gave her confidence to get through the challenging moments with greater ease. Here's where I really started to connect:

"...I vowed to stay involved in all the small details of their lives: to make fresh sandwiches and tear off a ragged piece of lettuce if it looked unappetizing, to run the baths, supervise the homework, plan the play dates, and wave good bye each morning like Harriet Nelson. Like so many of the other mothers I counseled, I wanted to be a hands-on parent, and like them, I had plenty of other ambitions as well. I wanted to continue to do fulfilling professional work, to stay fit and healthy, go to the movies, keep up with my gardening, read at least one professional journal and a book a week, plus the newspaper every day, head committees at the girls' schools, bake...and take saxophone lessons...Of course, I wanted my children to have every opportunity for success and fulfillment as well. So, in addition to school work, homework, and play dates, they each had private music lesson once a week and occasionally a tutor for the academic weak spots. The younger one played soccer. Every appointment went on two calendars...There was no time for anyone to waste."

I can see this life SO easily unfolding in front of me if I let it. That's the thing. Part of me doesn't want to let it. I've always been such a jack of all trades, and one to hold myself to such HIGH standards and be so critical of myself and others. Now, as our family grows, and suddenly there's someone to hear me yell at the dogs, and get frustrated openly when I'm overwhelmed...I realize that something's gotta give somewhere, somehow. Yeah, it's early. She's only 5 1/2 months. But everyone says it. Time goes fast. Now is the time that I need to start working on being the parent, being the person that I want and need to be in order to have a life in which we can go slow enough to enjoy it. Because this life IS amazing, despite ALL the crap that happens everyday. It really is. That's why I go outside. That's why I create connections in the wilderness, and do the same with Kaya as often as we can...b/c it's bigger than we are, it reminds me that my problems, even the problems of the world, are still smaller than the stars in the sky and the 600 year old cedar in the Opal Forest.

I'm going to create a place for a Recommended Reading list, because I'm finding myself so inspired and want to share for those interested in my life. It's also fun, I think, to know what others are reading, perhaps people feel the same.

Anyhow, I'm hoping to get in an update of our 4th of July weekend, too. And perhaps some extra sleep...though I have NO complaints about Kaya's sleeping patterns! Thanks for reading.

Tamara